Graduation!

Today was a good day. I will say that. It has also been a day that has made me really think. The morning seemed like forever. I went to the morning "Colors" ceremony at MCRD. It was neat. Then began a long, long wait. Seats in the stands filled up fast so we grabbed a seat and SAT there for over two hours. Thankfully, the weather was over cast and cool (to me, PERFECT). It seemed like an eternity. I was anxious to get through this. I wanted to see my son again and I wanted to stop waiting.

The ceremony started with the San Diego Marine Band. They were magnificent. I couldn't believe how perfect they sounded. As they were finishing up and the announcer started to talk, I saw the men lining up at the end of the parade deck. They began marching towards the stands, each step of every man exactly synchronized. There are few words that can describe the sight. It was completely awe inspiring. I almost teared up and yet had not even seen my son yet. The sheer perfection in each of those men's moves was completely breath taking. They halted in front of the stands, then turned in one awesome sweep. I saw Adam, though he was in the back of the formation and towards the back of the parade deck. I didn't cry. I smiled with all my being. He made it.

When the Lieutenant Colonel addressed the men with a "Good Morning" and they barked back the most amazing "Morning Sir, Ooh Rah", you could feel the passion of every single one of the 583 new Marines. It was again, completely breathtaking. There have been very few moments in my life that I have been speechless in awe. This was one of those moments.

Several more speeches and a parade of the marching band swallowed the next many minutes. The Honor Men were, well honored. The drill instructors and recruiters were given their proper gratitude and appreciation. Then the platoons were led on a march in front of the stands so everyone could truly appreciate all of these amazing young men who had fought their way through thirteen weeks training. All of the families had plenty of opportunities to snap a thousand pictures.

When they announced the dismissal of the new Marines, the crowd went crazy. I still didn't cry, though I wanted to. They would have been tears of joy, but I was determined to keep smiling. I was so happy and proud. It was one of those moments in a mother's life that cannot be put to words. I found Adam in the crowd and wrapped my arms around him so tight. "You did it" I told him. He did. He made it through hell and earned the title of Marine. He was a GREAT Marine.

After we left the depot and got back to the hotel, Adam tried to start to unwind. He was, of course very keyed up. He didn't really know how to "relax". We rested for a bit then decided to hit the mall since I DIDN'T bring him pants that he could wear! (I'm such a bad mom.) He purchased an outfit and once into some comfortable civilian clothes, looked more like Adam.

He is still different though. I cannot deny it and I know I must accept that this is the "new Adam", but it's so hard. I hardly know what to say to him or how to act. I hope that it will be better once we get home. He talked some about a few of the "experiences" he went through and I hope to hear much more. I told him he needed to write down or record everything he can about his experience so that he may remember the things that shaped him. I hope that he never forgets.

He has made a few comments yesterday and today that keep echoing in my head. Yesterday when he was showing my the "Iraqi Freedom" room at the museum he showed us a "home-made" bomb (replica) and said that it was responsible for the most "Marine Kills". Those words used together stung. Then again today, while shopping, he joked about wearing a charm on his dog tags while strutting around Iraq. God, I can't think about that. I cannot bear the thought of my son being deployed. I want to be selfish and tell them he's not allowed to go. I want to keep protecting him, but I can't. All I can do is pray that he stays safe. He is a United States Marine now, property of the United States government. He is our protector now.

I really love the new Adam, but I still miss the old one. He is not my little boy anymore now matter how much I want him back. He is my Marine, now and forever. He is my Hero and I am so proud of him.