When I thought you weren't looking...

When I thought YOU weren’t looking…
I hung my head over the side of the crib
And watched you sleep, gently stroking your soft hair
I watched your every breath
And your tiny fingers twitch as you dreamt

When I thought YOU weren’t looking…
I watched you take those first steps
All the while my heart skipping a beat with every movement
I saw your concentration and determination
And the enormous smile when you did it all by yourself

When I thought YOU weren’t looking…
I held my breath as your school bus pulled away
And then followed the bus all the way to school
I saw the excitement on your face as you walked in
As my heart pounded and my eyes welled up with tears

When I thought YOU weren’t looking…
I watched you peddle away on your bicycle for the first time
Without the training wheels on
I saw the joy and accomplishment in you
And felt the fear in me growing, with the hospital on speed dial

When I thought YOU weren’t looking…
I watched you getting ready for your first date
With excitement and nervousness
I saw a handsome young man
Where a boy stood before

When I thought YOU weren’t looking…
I watched you methodically double check your back pack
Ensuring you had everything you could possibly need
I saw that you were nervous
But ready to finally take on High School

When I thought YOU weren’t looking…
I gasped for breath as they called your name
And you walked up in your cap and gown to receive your diploma
I couldn’t help but see my little boy who had grown up so fast
And was fearlessly ready to take on the world

When I thought YOU weren’t looking…
I stood at your doorway on the night before
You were to leave for boot camp
I watched you dream for the last time
I prayed that you would be safe
I wished you had not grown up yet

When I thought YOU weren’t looking…
I dropped you off at the recruiting office
And drove away without you as I wept
I was so proud of who you had become
But didn’t know what I was going to do without you

When I KNOW you weren’t looking…
I boxed up your things to go to storage
And sat on the floor in your bedroom and cried
I already missed you so much
And felt like my heart had been torn out

When I dreamt you WERE looking…
I wrapped my arms around you
And gazed in awe at the amazing Marine you had become
I saw you as my little boy
Who had become a man
…and I was never more proud of you or loved you more